I said, “No, wait! New; Popular; Random; One Liners and Short Jokes . Here are some of our favorite corny puns that are so bad they’re good. However you can have your say by sharing your best one liners in the comments below. Not saying I live in a rough area but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up! I call it insta-gram. We hope these short jokes and puns make you laugh. RIP. 91. o O o. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician. All I did was take a day off. 7 Flirty One Liners For Tinder. Now his business is toast. The box a penis comes in. 28. From winding your way through a corn maze (make sure you take a photo that pairs nicely with these fall Instagram captions) to setting up a movie marathon featuring the best Halloween movies of … 25. Short Very Funny Laughing Vulgar Jokes Hilarious One Liners Children Get link; Facebook; Twitter; Pinterest; Email; Other Apps; courtesy: IFRAMESHARE. Please try again. God knows they might come in handy with that guy/girl you’re swooning over! Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Fashion & Style Love & Romance Gaming Hobbies Fine Arts & Crafts Astrology Card Games & Gambling Cars & Motorcycles Playing Music … Boy: “Want to hear a joke about my dick? Enjoy them all. Jokes for Seniors . 17. Our list of the best one line jokes of all time are curated by the bunch of comedians that make up the ADDucation team. A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. So, ‘Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive’ is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. What is your favorite one liner joke? by Stephen. on March 25, 2013. I always take life with a grain of salt. Smart and funny one liners. I don’t know and I don’t care. 100 Inspiring Quotes on Love and Marriage, The 35 Best Online Games to Play With Friends While Social Distancing, 100 Inspiring Quotes About Moms To Celebrate Your Mom On Mother's Day, Will Nathan Be Forced to Leave the Red Serge? August 28, … Please check your email to confirm your subscription. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. More funny one-liners, short jokes and sayings that would look great on a t-shirt or bumper sticker. 5. The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995. Pursuant to U.S. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. I could walk away at a comfortable pace. 75. 33. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.” 80. HOME. 40. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. I told them, “Just you wait!”. So, while we obviously need to take COVID-19 very seriously, and follow the recommendations from the … said O' Flaherty. I do. So today dear reader I offer you 15 very funny one-liners by Billy Connolly just to remind you of how witty he is. A depresso. Do you know a funny one liner? One liner tags: hate, sarcastic, stupid. Slow down. These are the funniest jokes about all 50 U.S. states. He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. Post a comment. A member has started a … Recipes. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet quotes about funny, and make you laugh. 89. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See more ideas about sarcastic, funny quotes, sarcastic quotes. She hit the ceiling! Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. Sep 23, 2020 It's no secret that we love Halloween around here! So I said to the gym instructor, "Can you teach me to do the splits?" Funny images and pictures and puns and jokes and hilarious one liners and status updates. By creating an account, you accept the terms and I said, "I've been on the telly but I'm no Dean Martin". o O o. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen. Read those really good short jokes and find yourself laughing like a hyena. 96. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap. Here are funny one liner jokes and puns. Read more: 105 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners “I had a survey done on my house. Jul 29, 2018 - Billy Connolly is an excellent comedian. funny one liners this blog is based on funny one liners , sad one liners , witty one liners , funny one liner. How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves. by Ramon March 22, 2010. 36. These are the funniest jokes about all 50 U.S. states. o O o. Have you heard about the new restaurant called ‘Karma?’ There’s no menu—you get what you deserve. Really Funny One Liners About Truths ~ Truth Jokes - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.. - Consistency is the final refuge of the unimaginative. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. All funny one liners, including short jokes, clever one liners, witty one liners, corny one liners and dirty one liners. Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training. Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at. Enjoy our great collection of best funny corny jokes. I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off. Enjoy them all. 47. 58. 32. I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. 16. I used to think I was indecisive. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. Also See: Epic Sarcastic and Bitchy Quotes. I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? Trending courtesy: JOKES. Make us laugh and we’ll add your best 1 liner to the main ADDucation one line jokes list. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down. Your account was created. So I said to this train driver, "I want to go to Paris." By Julia Ludlam. 1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent". 11. "It's never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground. My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, ‘Watt?’. Incorrect email or username/password combination. I gave him a glass of water. It was an udder failure. She seemed surprised. Never trust atoms; they make up everything. 29. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now. We must have come close to her cubs. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners. Congratulations, you are now a genius. My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. How do you make holy water? Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them. Absolutely hillarious racist one-liners! 'Papa Is Missing You': Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis Write Sweet Mother's Day Cards to Princess Diana. A collection of the best funny one liners. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 7. 87. 57. Refresh your page, login and try again. Stealing is bad and you should return it. Try […] For the past 30 days, I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page.. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction they would get, surprisingly the jokes reached over 1 million people!. Share these one liner jokes with them! Short Irish Jokes - One-liners i) The Irish attempt at scaling Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding. Share. - All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else. 74. I'm great at multitasking. I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. British One Liners . 37. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. But one-liners don’t have to bring the cringe, some of them are smart, insightful, and stick with you for ages. 11. Who doesn’t like a good joke? Home. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one. What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee? We have made a collection of some of the best funny corny jokes that will interest you, though some might sound cliché and probably old-fashioned, they will surely make you laugh out loud. 2 Do not argue with an idiot. Top 100 funniest one-liners. 81. Jan 26, 2021 - Explore John Wendt's board "Funny one liners" on Pinterest. 27. Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. Most importantly, funny jokes — even coronavirus and quarantine jokes — bring us together and help us to feel connected, one pandemic quarantine pod to another. The following is our hand picked collection of 50 of the funniest one line quotes that is sure to leave you in splits. - Click here for a great line from Tommy Cooper plus 99 other funny jokes Picture: REX A sandwich walks into a bar. ‘Doctor, there’s a patient on line one that says he’s invisible.’‘Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.’. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. Totally hilarious jokes! He said, "How flexible are you?" Empty comment. 82.99 % / 1533 votes. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. —taeloth. Reader beware: Corny jokes lie ahead. I think it must be drink.' Read some of his best funny one liners. I left without making a scene. 26. Just got fired from my job as a set designer. The one-liners given below have been said by people like you and me. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? The most popular blog for text jokes, humorous videos, and funny images. I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society. Dec 28, 2018 - Explore Ramya's board "sarcastic one liners" on Pinterest. There was an error in your submission. by Katerina Janik. A reliable joke never fails to break the ice during social interactions, and goodness knows some of us can use all the help we can get in those situations! St. Patrick’s Day Trivia Time: 30 Fascinating Facts About St. Patty’s Day That Make Wearing Green Even More Fun, These 100 St. Patrick’s Day Puns Will Make You the Life of the ‘Paddy’ (Even While Social Distancing), You’ll Be “Dublin” Over in Laughter Once You Read These 100 Hilarious St. Patty’s Day Jokes, 50 St. Patrick's Day Recipes That Will Bring the Luck of the Irish To Your Dinner Table, Which One of These 100 Diets Could Help You Lose Weight? That’s the perfect counter-balance to life. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me. I had to put my foot down. Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse. 100. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. Ad Choices. 56. He’s all right now. Brighten your friends’ day! Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Nothing gets a good laugh better than a well-placed one-liner—and we could all use a little laughter during trying times. ~Billy Connolly; Marriage is a wonderful invention. Funny One Liners Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! You are posting comments too quickly. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. Having sex is like playing bridge. Manage your GDPR consents by clicking here. The rotation of Earth really makes my day. 30. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke. !” Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Our list of the best one line jokes of all time are curated by the bunch of comedians that make up the ADDucation team. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? Recent Posts. o O o. 38. 24. Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent". Best One Liners The Best 1 Line Jokes of All-Time. Remains to be seen. Thanks for signing up! Things got a little tense. I’m sorry, but if Christmas is coming – so am I.” – Sarah Millican. My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas. Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot. It catches listeners off guard and is a great way to get a quick laugh. You boil the hell out of it. Moms and dads alike are sure to love these one-liners, smart jokes, and punny jokes. 61. One liner tags: life, money. jokes funny one liners. I used to breed rabbits. 44. Home Jokes Top 100 funniest one-liners. If you are sporting enough to happily put up a sign saying, “Mental backup in progress. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. What's Blonde and dead in a closet? 3. Who Was Eliminated from. Never mind, it’s too long.” Girl: “Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it or trying to get a piece of it. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced, distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used, without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group. 70. My love for you is like diarrhea. He disappeared without a tres. You seem to be logged out. In order to brighten your day and make you laugh out loud, I’d like to share my personal favorite flirty jokes, pick-up lines, one-liners, and just some really funny jokes to crack you up, because I’m sure you could use it. 72. Personally, I think it’s b***ocks.”. Book. 82. These clever jokes will lift your spirits, brighten your mood and get you giggling in no time. 77. Collection of Short Funny One Liners Jokes. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up. Who doesn’t like a good joke? One of the cows didn’t produce milk today. Because I’m feeling a connection. 15. I've lost three days already.' Tips. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a big blog post. Really, 35 children are enough." 8. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’. The best funny one-liners. You seem to be logged out. An email has been sent to you. One shot to my girlfriend’s kneecap was all it took. The man who invented Velcro has died. 20. Really funny one liner joke. One-Liner Jokes. 9. That's why it's helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop? I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them. Sunday, 8 July 2012 . Is your name Wi-Fi? Steal these classic one-liner jokes Yes, you too can laugh like a crazed hyena! 50. – Billy Connolly. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? (With Images) Posted on October 16, 2018 November 3, 2020 by Staff. 23. ii) The Doctor was puzzled 'I'm very sorry Mr O'Flaherty, but I can't diagnose your trouble. 64. Don’t take life too seriously. 76. Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that. thumb_up 41. Whoops! When the cannibal showed up late to the buffet, they gave him the cold shoulder. Life is full of surprises, so let us enjoy it and savor all its flavors happily. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do. 68. 83.02 % / 11323 votes. The largest collection of racist one-line jokes in the world. A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. Book. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. 93. Like. I only have my shelf to blame though. 19. I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition. Pollen is what happens when flowers can’t keep it in their plants. Check out these 15 Funniest One Liner Jokes we have found for you. Inspiration. Only a genius can say these four words out loud four times without stuttering: Eye, Yam, Stew, Peed. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope. 83. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Uh-oh! Is It Inappropriate to Refer to Electrical Cords and Sockets as 'Male' and 'Female'? "It's never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground. Funny One Liners. 2. I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’. I can’t hold it in. Relationships are a lot like algebra. But now I’m not so sure. Laughter is good for you. Here are some one-liners about life that will surely get a smile on your face. You are posting comments too quickly. 21. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes. Funny One Liners About Life ~ Life Jokes - Life is all about ass. Enter these funny one-liners. 67. 22. Menu. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, 101 Funny One-Liners That Are Certain to Lift Your Spirits. You'll have trouble putting on your pants. 1. We've Got Tons of Info to Help You Decide, 200 Best Crock Pot Recipes and Easy Slow Cooker Dinner Ideas for the Family, 100+ Weight Watchers Recipes with WW Points to Help You Lose Weight, Matt James' Journey for Love Has Begun! The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’. I threw a boomerang a couple years ago; I know live in constant fear. Enjoy. Just laugh. I saw a sign the other day that said, ‘Watch for children,’ and I thought, ‘That sounds like a fair trade.’. 30 Laugh-Out Loud Halloween Jokes That'll Tickle a Skeleton's Funny Bone. Well, to be Frank with you, I’d have to change my name. Get ’Em Here! “My fake plants died because I didn't pretend to water them.” Mitch Hedberg “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." A good one-liner can serve so many purposes I don’t even know where to begin. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. 84. Firstly, being able to recall and drop a one-liner in an instant is the sign of a healthy functioning brain. We’ll see about that. We've picked some of our favourite one-liners and shorter jokes from Britain's finest comics to help us get through self-isolation. He said, "Eurostar?" I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. What if there were no hypothetical questions? Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy, Cookie Notification, and awareness of the California Privacy Rights. Always borrow money from a pessimist. These are clean jokes that will appeal to both the old and young, as well as the kids. More Funny One-Liners. 97. Laugh now, but one day we’ll be in charge. People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. Open toad sandals. by Hawthorn Mineart, under One-Liners. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. 86. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. All funny one liners, including short jokes, clever one liners, witty one liners, corny one liners and dirty one liners. Then I realized they can handle it themselves. Tommy Cooper (1921-1984) 'I'm on a whiskey diet. Funny inspirational pictures.funny quotes funny image mama jokes short funny jokes new jokes funny mama jokes jokes pictures funny status updates jokes funny jokes yo mamma jokes dirty jokes clips funny funny videos pictures website jokes funniest jokes very funny jokes funny photos humorous jokes yo … 42 Funny One Liner Jokes. 43. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!" Do Not Disturb!” on your desktop, continue reading. 42. A blind man walked into a bar… and a table… and a chair…. "Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine." British One Liners . Try going through these amazing short funny memes and cute one liner jokes we’ve carefully collected. I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right. Have a look at these witty one liners. One liner tags: insults, intelligence, rude, stupid. One liner tags: intelligence, stupid. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. o O o. Refresh your page, login and try again. Do not sell my personal information. Read some of his best funny one liners. Also you can try thousands of best jokes on Unijokes.com. It’s impossible to put down. If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages? Show him a used tampon and ask, “What period is this from?” 13. "Why does someone believe you when you say there are … The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. So whether you enjoy texting funny one-liners to your best friend or can’t wait to test these out in public, here are the 101 best one-liners. "Look for the fresh prints." I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. 55. Read and have a fun day today! Celeb interviews, recipes, wellness tips and horoscopes delivered to your inbox daily. Then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. We're Digging into Details in Our, Kids, Kids, Kids! Like. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing. 82.54 % / 1928 votes. I hear they’re going to give him a tough sentence. Really, 35 children are enough." Sorry, comments are currently closed. See TOP 10 racist one liners. 4. I told him to be himself; that was pretty mean, I guess. 18. The bartender said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.’. Shutterstock "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." God knows they might come in handy with that guy/girl you’re swooning over! 49. I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious. Sort By Random. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. 66. That is wrong on so many levels. He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. If you want more, check out these other jokes. Make us laugh and we’ll add your best 1 liner to the main ADDucation one line jokes list. Get link; Facebook; Twitter; Pinterest; Email; Other Apps; Comments. 65. 85. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, bones funny. What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes? Funny one liner joke. I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it. Page 2. We have rounded up some of the best collection of funny one-liners on life, funny quotes, hilarious captions, and sarcastic status messages and jokes. However you can have your say by sharing your best one liners in the comments below. 45. 46. 'Don't worry about it Dr Cullen, I'll come back when you're sober.' I was hiking once with my girlfriend. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. • On this page you will find stupid men jokes, political jokes, funny sex jokes, memory jokes, statistic jokes, job … They are the best Internet has to offer. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Rodney Dangerfield had captured the minds of his audience with his ribald, in-your-face humor. o O o. In the right side, there's nothing left. I guess I was stoned off my ass. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought, "he's trying to pull a fast one". Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. 60. The reception was fantastic. 62. From witty one-liners that require some humor to good one-liners to share with kids, these hilarious jokes will make any conversation more lively. Two wifi engineers got married. 48. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance 98. Best One Liners The Best 1 Line Jokes of All-Time. Shoutout to Bel-Air. Elayne Boosler ... We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes. Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot. 31. Get to Know Eddie Murphy's 10 Children and Their Mothers. I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. 35. 78. Shutterstock "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." 95. 51. Season 5 Has Arrived! - I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. My father has schizophrenia, but he’s good people. A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and mean your mother. Well, it was a trick question, and you really don’t need to answer because last time I checked, we all like stupid jokes, funny quotes and dumb one-liners. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 100 Best Dad Jokes175 Bad Jokes101 Corny Jokes200+ Jokes for Kids101 Bad Puns. I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Breasts don’t have eyes. One liner Transformer joke. I spilled the beans. It looks as though you’ve already said that. We don’t want your type in here!’. Four fonts walk into a bar. And a shot of tequila. In order to brighten your day and make you laugh out loud, I’d like to share my personal favorite flirty jokes, pick-up lines, one-liners, and just some really funny jokes to crack you up, because I’m sure you could use it. I went to a seafood disco last week, but ended up pulling a mussel. 79. And a slice of lemon. 48. 41. In this article, we shall read some really funny ones that will help you see why life should always be taken with a pinch of salt. In What Ways Has Quarantining Inside Affected Our Health? Really Funny One-Liners. 10. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. Share. I'm in the mood to flood the whole place with uppercuts!!! 82.63 % / 949 votes. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list. 34. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought, "he's trying to pull a fast one". Funniest Jokes New Jokes Hilarious Jokes Clean Jokes Funny Sayings Black Humor One-Liners Funny Riddles Dad Jokes Best Puns Fun Facts Kids Jokes More Awesome Jokes. The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Most of us aren't stand-up comedians, and we don't walk around with a full repertoire of funny jokes to share at parties. 52. Just burned 2,000 calories. 12. Some clever one liners which are sure to tickle the fancies of those who enjoy word play, and that too with a comical twist. Never mind, you won’t get it.” Two goldfish are in a tank. In the left side, there's nothing right. 69. Although knock-knock jokes are classics, sometimes it’s best to skip the setup and get right to the gag. Best jokes in the world. ‘I have a split personality,’ said Tom, being Frank. Married man one liner joke . They’ll never expect it back. The bartender says, ‘Hey! Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving. 1. 73. Funny one-liners by Billy Connolly: Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn’t try it on. A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’. "How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?" Slow down. Not only is it terrible, it’s also terrible. My grandfather has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo. My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. 14. 39. 99. He’s a small arms dealer. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing? My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Whoops! I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. 101. For even more laughs and good, clean jokes, check out One-Liners, Funny Quotes, Dad Jokes, Fun Facts, Bad Jokes, Knock Knock Jokes and Trivia for Kids! Free free to laugh it out loud while reading. We present you the best collection of funny jokes for kids, dad, bad, dark humor and good. I said, "I can't make Tuesdays". Don’t believe us? I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 13. One liner tags: car, life, sarcastic. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. Stolen. Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak. The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex-tape. 54. 59. 1. Two fish are in a tank. "Hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not." A book fell on my head the other day. 71. Here are 15 very funny one-liners by Billy Connolly just to remind you of how witty he is. 50 Funny One Liner Quotes That Will Leave You In Splits! The barman says “Sorry we don’t serve food in here”. 49. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ... Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone. You'll have trouble putting on your pants. It looks as though you’ve already said that. You have a lot of categories with really humor one liners and short.

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